You know how sometimes you have an amazing realization about yourself. You realize you are talented beyond imagination, or that you possess a skill that leads to your passions being fulfilled. I had the anti-realization.
I'm average.
I picture it as this - In the movie of Life, there are stars, supporting characters, villains, heroes and everything in between. I'm passerby#3. I don't even have a name, nor a speaking part.
I'm so unexceptional that if we were to walk by each other, I wouldn't be a shadow.
No, I'm not trying to put myself down. (Well - I do self-deprecate though.)
My point is, I feel so uninspiring. I have no particular talent, nothing that is wholly me.
I have my idiosyncracies of course, but anything to make me special? I don't think so.
I observe others all the time, and I lean back and see other people's special qualities. I do not see any in myself.
I just feel so .... unreleased.
On a side note, I've gotten braces.
And here's my funny story:
When it was just my younger brother and I, we'd always drink water from the water jug my mom kept cool in the fridge. Everytime I went to take a drink, I'd always have to go to the bathroom. So, as I was drinking, I would awkwardly stand and draw my knees together. It never failed.
So, one night my brother did the same thing. I asked him why and he said because I always did.
